If an adult is struggling with forgiveness

Posted on: April 1st, 2014 by danielcclark@gmail.com No Comments

Here is a truth: c3a328f8664cb5df0cf91addae389d44it’s because they didn’t experience it as a child. Children who experienced their parents or care giver harming them and then repenting and truly changing, learn a real experience of forgiveness. This child finds it much easier to forgive as an adult.


(See Healing the Shame that binds you: John Bradshaw)

This is a great example because if you look at the way your mom and dad are or were, or who ever raised you, you can see why you behave or think the way you do. Your experience formed your views of forgiveness.

Who ever raised you, how they made you feel and the experiences you had with them made an impact on you. We all need to know the rules, and as a child, discipline is most important. When parents are inconsistent, unforgiving, and punish harshly, it has a negative affect on the child.

The however here, is how YOU received it. Not all children experience the same things the same way. The only way you know how someone experienced something is to see how they behave. This experience or knowledge is necessary for you to have understanding. Understanding gives you that “oh that is how it really is” feeling. Wisdom is gained by the accumulation of knowledge and applied understanding.

The way you think about marriage, as an example, is not solely based on how you chose to believe about marriage. The view is established in you by the way you experienced it from your family of origin. You adjust these views as you go through life, but the foundation is still true. You have experienced marriage and now you live it by the way you experienced it.

We learned about marriage by the way we experienced it while growing up “in the formative years” as at the song goes.

So… here is a true statement (there will be lots of these as we go forward – truths as I see them)

Marriage relationships are caught not taught: if you’re struggling, maybe you missed something along the way