The Focused Life

Posted on: November 23rd, 2014 by

Focused Life 3As a rule, I have not finished many of the things I have started in life. This means that I feel often like I am pushing against some unseen force. I have weeks, days and even years where I feel like I am doing well, and yet at the end of the time things always seem to end up the same way. I am still battling some internal force that seems to hold me back.

Not long ago I did a FB post asking for input about change and we don’t change. As with all things, there are a lot of reasons and I received a lot of valid input.  Yet it still didn’t seem to match the idea that I was thinking about.  I mean why aren’t the people in my world that share with me privately that they would like to write a book, start a non for profit, develop a ministry of some kind or change some aspect of their lives.  That would be change, right?

As a recent graduate of a social and emotional intelligence certificate from the Wright Foundation in Chicago, I learned more about myself than I have ever known before.  What I learned is how I have these systems of thinking that, unless changed, will hold me to these patterns or system forever. These are not bad or good systems more like just true systems. Ways of feeling and thinking that prevent me from choose to be free to do what I want.

A perfect example is how I feel embarrassed sometimes when I am in a store and there is attention on me.  What I learned is how my innocence of being free to dance in public, or sing out loud when no one else is singing, or choose to forgive are all patterns that I learned as I have lived my life. These systems don’t allow me to choose because the operate in the back ground, in my automatic  thinking.

When you drive a car, you do not think about driving.  You drive and can think about all kinds of things – your mind has placed it into an auto matic pattern. This is how your mind does with 90% of all your behavior, it becomes automatic. Your mind is always looking for danger like a red light, a car moving into your lane, or some other uncommon event. Otherwise, you drive automatically.

Why don’t we all live according to a biblical model of love, forgiveness and the fruit of the spirit. Why don’t we all have these fantastic marriages, and families? It is all related directly to things that are going on inside us.

The Focused Life is something I want to have. Focused on what I need to change to have more joy, more connections, more forgiveness, and more satisfaction out of my life. And this will only happen if I learn how to focus on what I need to change.

Focus is not attending a class, or going to a seminar. The Focused life is about learning that we have these patterns that prevent me from being me.

Changes takes time, and you know that.  So this class will be a year of focus – on systems and patterns and how to move into you God given authentic life.


Here is my FB post!

Ok FB ! working on a project and I have an open question or survey for you.

My question is related to change.

Here is my short list ! These are the things I hear often…. Tell me what you think!

1) It’s too hard
2) This is how God made me
3) It will take too long
4) I don’t know if I can change
5) I don’t have time to do all that work
6) What does it matter
7) What are the benefits of change

and here is final word on change that comes to my mind as I think about it.

Why do I quit in the middle of change?

Could be the same list?

Feed back? What are your thoughts?

Most of the responses were about how God is the one that changes us, and that is true. However, we are called to live a life of awareness of our selves, and that means when we struggle with a particular item in our lives, what do we do with it? Do we just “give up” and accept it as “being who God made me to be?”

I don’t want that kind of unhappiness in me. As a matter of fact, my unforgiveness, unkindness, and my inabiltiy to walk in the fruit of the spirit is the very thing that is keeping me from being totally into God.

Webinar this weekend !